It's always something

With Christmas over, and the decorations down, Sam has had to find something new to occupy his time. Luckily for him (and for me!), it has snowed a little bit over the past few days. There is only a few inches on the ground, but it's been enough to satisfy all three boys. They have spent hours outside this weekend, sledding and playing in the snow.

Sam has also discovered the joy of shoveling. Honestly. He loves it. My driveway is shoveled, the front walk is shoveled, the back patio is shoveled, and Canterbury Lane is shoveled. Seriously. He did a good chunk of the road. It wasn't deep enough for the plow to come through, so Sam took matters into his own hands.

When he finally came inside, he flopped down in a chair in the Florida room and fell fast asleep. Shoveling is hard work.

Well, there you go

When I got home from work tonight, the sun had set. So I was a little surprised to see Sam outside, standing in the front walk. I got out of the car and asked him what he was doing outside in the dark and the cold. "Just watching," he replied.

He did not tell me exactly what he was watching.

I went inside and he followed me, with a thoughtful look on his face. "Mom", he says. "I don't want to be a person any more. I want to be a platypus."

And now you know.

Up, down, east, west...

The boys love the DVD player in the van.  I don't mind it because it cuts down on the bickering and yelling when we travel.

Today, I had to take the van to the dealership to get a sensor reset and a new key made.  It's a long drive, so Nolan was busy watching "Despicable Me."  He reached the end of the movie and wanted me to start it over.

The DVD player is designed so that the driver cannot see the screen.  This makes sense, because the driver should probably be focused on the road.  But it makes it tricky when a child is trying to guide the driver through the menu operations.  Normally, TJ does the talking.  But today, it was just me and Nolan.  This is what he said:

"Go down."
"Go down."
"Go down."
"Go....west?"

He meant "right".  I laughed.  And managed to get the movie playing again.

Nolan's Nighttime Adventures

Before I can tell you of the latest Baron Saga, there are a few things you need to know:

1. Nolan has "Buddies".  When he was tiny, these were his burp cloths.  Now they are security blankets.  He typically only needs them when he sleeps.  The problem with this is if he takes them out of his bed, they get tossed aside shortly thereafter, and then we can't find them.

2. Nyquil (or the Meijer brand of nighttime cold medicine) works REALLY well on me.  The dosage of the capsules I buy is two at a time.  But I only take one capsule because it totally knocks me out.  I cannot wake up at all if I take the full dose.

3.  Bill was in Detroit when this happened.  He misses all of the fun stuff.

When I went to bed Wednesday night, I took one nighttime cold pill.  At 2:00, I heard a small voice.  "Mom." "Mom."  Nolan was standing by my bed, trying to rouse me from my drug-induced sleep.  I asked him what was wrong and he told me his Buddy was wet and could I please get him a dry one.  A small warning bell went off in my head.  I asked why it was wet and he told me he spilled his water bottle on it.  More warning bells.  Nolan isn't allowed water after dinner time because he soaks the bed.  My foggy mind was also wondering if there were any more clean Buddies to be found.  A few of them had gone missing in the past week.

I struggled out of bed and found my glasses.  As we headed to his room, I asked Nolan if he had spilled the water anywhere else.  He said, "Yeah.  On my pajamas and a little on my bed."

More warning bells.  I walked in his bedroom, flipped on the light and was horrified by what I saw.  It looked like he had poured several cups of water on his bed.  The sheets were soaked, the blanket was soaked, the mattress pad was soaked.  I stripped everything and started from scratch.  The whole time I was working, my mind was in a fog.  This was complicated by the fact that Nolan was chattering away non-stop.  Who has that kind of energy at 2 a.m.?

By the time I had clean, dry bedding on his bed, Nolan in clean pajamas and a dry Pull-up (because he was just about to soak through his current one), a new Buddy tucked into bed with him, and laundry piled up to be dealt with in the morning, it was 2:30 a.m.  It's like being up with the newborn, but without the precious baby to cuddle.

Nolan has strict instructions to never touch his water bottle in the middle of the night again.

Strangest injury to date...

I have not been feeling well the past few days. I feel as though I have been fighting some sort of bug. I've had frequent bad headaches, some nausea and heartburn and I've been very tired. This morning I got up and got the kids through their showers so they could go to rehearsal for tomorrow's Christmas program at church.

Once Bill took the kids to church, I started wrapping some Christmas gifts. But after awhile, my head was pounding so badly that I laid down and fell asleep. After a bit, the boys came home. It doesn't phase them in the least if I'm asleep. They talk to me as though I'm fully conscious.

Sam came in my room, whimpering. He told me his nose hurt. I mumbled some sympathy and asked what was wrong. He said he accidentally stuck his Christmas tree up his nose. A moment later, I heard him gasp. The wound (up his nose, from a Christmas tree!!) was bleeding. I did NOT want to fully wake up. I knew if I did, I'd laugh, and that would just make my pounding head throb even more. I muttered to Sam to get a Kleenex and pinch his nose to stop the bleeding. I then sent him off to find his more-conscious father.

Sam had me look up his nose later in the day. Sure enough, there was a scratch. I'm guessing he was either relocating his miniature tree or re-doing the lights on it when it viciously attacked him. What's next for that child?

Frankly, My Dear...

Last night, as Bill and I were tucking the boys in bed and kissing them good night, I was talking to Sam about an article of clothing that was missing. I said something along the lines of, "Frankly, I have no idea where that went."

Sam looked confused and said, "Wait. Who is Frank Lee?"

One person's trash...

When Sam brought his school bag in from the car tonight, he proudly set a Ziploc bag filled with a half dozen colorful Christmas cookies on the counter. His brothers were impressed and asked where he had gotten them. Sam calmly said, "I'm not ready to tell you yet." But he promised to share, so his brothers didn't really care about the particulars.

After dinner, Sam told us that the cookies came from Papa's church and that no one there wanted to eat them. I laughed. The cookies my boys were so excited about were church cookie rejects. Turns out that rejected cookies are still yummy cookies!

I stand corrected

Saturday morning, I was standing at the kitchen sink washing up the breakfast dishes. Sam was outside, thoroughly enjoying our first measurable snowfall of the year (we only had an inch or two).

Some movement across the street caught my eye and I was surprised to see a large group of deer running from my neighbor's yard across the street and through the yard next to ours. Seeing deer is common around here, but not in groups this large so close to the house. I counted ten does. I pictured them all headed off to the coffee shop or the bathroom. It seems females always travel together, no matter the breed!

A few minutes later Sam wandered in the house. I asked him if he had seen the ten deer. He looked at me very calmly and said, "There were eleven".

Silly Mom.

Water is a privilege!

TJ earns a small allowance every week by washing the breakfast dishes, helping vacuum, and by feeding the cats.

Yesterday, I noticed the cats' water dish was empty and bone dry. I called down the hall to TJ that he needed to give the cats some water. He responded (rather incredulously), "What!? I just gave them water yesterday!"

I feel sorry for his future children.

Glutton for punishment

Sunday morning, when we arrived at church, this tempting sight was sitting at the table by the coat racks:

TJ had a hunch the bowl of candy belonged to Miss Cookie, so he promptly found her and asked if she was sharing her candies.  Of course she was!  TJ grabbed a candy out of the bowl and tucked it in his pocket when I asked him to wait until we got to our seat to eat it.  Sam shook his head when I asked him if he wanted one (Don't look so surprised.  I've mentioned once or twice before that he is unusual).  Nolan was nearly giddy at the thought of candy at 9 a.m.  Of course he wanted one.

As soon as we got upstairs, both TJ and Nolan popped the nougat-y goodness in their mouths.  Mere seconds later, Nolan had green drool running down his chin and on to his Sunday sweater.  "Too hot!  Too hot!"  He was whispering in a frantic shriek, if that's possible.  Brianna (who sits in the pew behind us) handed me a Kleenex so I could mop the drool off Nolan's sweater.  Then TJ took Nolan down to get a drink so the hotness would go away.

I actually was pretty relieved that we got through that crisis as quickly as we did.  Nolan wasn't loud enough to distract anyone else in the balcony, he didn't cry, and he allowed TJ to bring him to the drinking fountain.  I just told Nolan he probably shouldn't eat those candies anymore (which is fine because then there will be more for me).

As we were leaving church after Sunday School, Miss Cookie's grandson Drew, was passing the candies out to kids as they put their coats on.  I mentioned to him that Nolan didn't like them, so he didn't need to share with Nolan.  But Nolan, that little turkey, took one anyway and ate it in the car.  Thankfully, this time there was no shrieking or green drool.

T

Potty Talk

Disclaimer: This post really is about potty.  So if you are easily offended, don't say I didn't warn you!

Shortly before bedtime tonight, Nolan was in the bath tub, and Sam was taking a shower in my bathroom.   TJ needed to go to the bathroom, so he was faced with a difficult choice.  Share a bathroom with one of his brothers, or go downstairs all by himself and use that bathroom. TJ hates the dark, so that option was immediately eliminated.  He opted to use my bathroom, since the toilet is around the corner from the shower.  He likes his privacy and this was a better choice than using the toilet that's a foot away from his rambunctious littlest brother.

So, TJ went in and shut the door, but it didn't latch tight.  Thus, I was able to hear the following conversation.

Sam: "TJ?  What are you doing?"
TJ: "I'm going to the bathroom" (he was rather tired so he was speaking in his best ho-hum voice)
Sam:"Are you pooping?"
TJ: (dramatic sigh) "No"
Sam: (in his most understanding tone), "Ohhh.  Are you having a bad potty?"
TJ: (sounding puzzled): "Huh?"
Sam: "You know, like is your potty orange or green?"
 TJ: "No!  Sam!  It's not!"

I was completely cracking up during this.  When has Sam ever encountered a child who urinated in the wrong color?  And why wasn't TJ laughing?  Why did he sound so offended?

One other note: yesterday, Sam used the word 'woozy' in a sentence.  And he used it correctly.

Crazy cats

I woke up this morning to find Katie in my face. After I convinced her to get off me, she climbed in the bathroom sink.

Willoughby is training for a management position. He 'helped' me wrap Christmas presents by swatting at the scissors while I was cutting (!), attacking a pen, and then laying down on paper I had just unrolled.

TJ's thankful card

Yesterday when I was unpacking TJ's backpack after school, I found this:

You may have to tap the picture in order to see the entire note card.

In case the handwriting of a third grade boy isn't your specialty, allow me to translate:
TJ: I am sad and thankful for my uncle, because he is in Afghanistan fighting for our country. Also, could you pray for my Uncle Jared?

I was rather choked up when I read this. After I pulled myself together, I asked TJ what the card was for. He responded that everyone had to write down what they were thankful for and it was posted in their class. They were done with the cards now, so he had brought his home.

I was shocked. So often, TJ's life seems to revolve around petty things: Ninjago, Legos, Angry Birds. But none of those things were mentioned on his card. Instead, he was thankful for something much more important. Family.

TJ turned nine years old today. He is definitely growing up. And after reading his assignment, I couldn't be more proud. If only he had spelled 'Jared' correctly....

All I Want for Christmas...

So, it's that time of year.  The grandparents are asking me what the boys want for Christmas.  I hate that question, because my children are so difficult, but in completely unique ways.

TJ wants it.  Whatever it is, he wants it.  As long as it isn't in the pink section of the Toys R Us Big Toy Book, he wants it, he loves it, he needs it, you name it.  So, it can be very hard to whittle down his list to the things he genuinely wants and will appreciate.

Nolan doesn't think big enough.  I asked him what he wanted, and he smiled and said, "I want a Star Wars Angry Bird" (these cost about $12 at Toys R Us).  I said, "That's it?" And he nodded.  Oh great.  We will let the grandparents fight that one out.

Then there's Sam.  I have asked him repeatedly what he would like and today he finally gave me two ideas.  One, is he would like some new Christmas lights for his tree (I know.  You're shocked).  Papa and Grandma Cindy had given him a special set of lights a couple years ago, and he loved them so much that they died.  So, that's actually a decent idea.  His other idea was so funny.  He said, "I would like a radar".  We asked him if he meant a weather radar and he nodded.  We informed him that we knew he would love to own one but they cost thousands of dollars.  So, that's out.

We had discussed getting him an iPod Touch and loading some weather apps on there, but we aren't quite ready to do that.  We'll have to see what other scientific and unusual gifts we can come up with.

Both a blessing and a curse

Sam is one of my favorite blog subjects, because I just don't always understand him.  He's so intense.  He's so precise.  He's so...inflexible.

Sometimes, it's a blessing.  When we are standing in the Christmas tree section at Meijer and Sam is intently studying every tree with a big smile on his face.  When he's sitting on his dad's lap and they are having a serious discussion about how vibrations are sounds and different vibrations create different sounds.  When his brother is talking about a certain song and Sam calmly tells us the last time we heard that song as a family (and he is absolutely correct).

Sometimes, it's a curse.  Like when he's gotten up out of bed at 9:00 because he's worrying about how one of his Christmas trees doesn't have lights on it.  Or when (again...out of bed past his bedtime) he's fussing over the location of an extension cord Bill lent him and then needed back.  Or when I tell him that I saw them putting up the Christmas decorations in Standale and he gets extremely upset when I don't immediately drive him over there to look.  Or when he's writing his spelling words on the white board and decides halfway through that he needs to switch colors, so he ERASES THE ENTIRE TEST, switches markers, and then calmly tells me to start again from the beginning.

I laugh.  I cry.  I remind Bill that Sam is mostly his fault.  And then I laugh when Bill reminds me that Sam is my fault too.

This is my favorite picture of Sam from our Disney trip.  This is the sheer joy he had on his face, simply from watching a fountain.  I smile every time I look at this. 

Never mind what I said in the title.  No part of parenting Sam is a curse.  Granted, it isn't always easy, but I am so blessed to be his Mom.

Excuse me?!

Monday night was chiropractor night.  Every three weeks, we take all three boys to the chiropractor and all of us get adjusted.  Ten years ago, I would have thought that was the wackiest thing to do.  But we started visiting the chiropractor out of desperation when Sam was so miserable as a toddler and I really think it helps everyone.  Bill has fewer, less intense migraines, TJ's ears have improved, and both Sam and Nolan fight off bugs better.  I can't explain to you why it works, I just know that it does, and it's all natural.

Anyway...when we got there yesterday, Nolan had to use the bathroom.  After he went, I helped him wash his hands and then we returned to the waiting area.  I sat down to Bill's left, and Nolan flopped down to my left.  He promptly announced, "My butt itches!"  Bill and I both froze.  I could not believe what Nolan had just said.  I cautiously asked him to repeat himself.  Nolan grumbled again, "My butt itches!"  It was one of those moments where I didn't know whether to laugh or crawl into a hole.  Why in the world would he be announcing this in public?!  Nolan was obviously less than thrilled with my response (of confused silence), so he plopped his right foot in my lap and pulled off his shoe.  "Will you itch it?" 

I was so relieved.  "Your FOOT itches?" Nolan nodded.  Bill and I started laughing quite hard.  TJ looked rather interested.  He wanted to know what we thought Nolan said.  Neither Bill or I would tell him.

Un-kissed

Our weekday mornings have a very strict routine.  I'm out of our bathroom by 7:00, so Bill can jump in the shower.  Just before 7:00, he starts setting out breakfast. While he is in the shower, I make sure the older two boys get dressed and everyone starts eating.  While they eat, I finish packing their lunches.  At 7:30, I kiss everyone good-bye and head out the door for work. Bill then dresses Nolan, packs up all 3 boys, brings TJ and Sam to the bus and then drops Nolan off at my mom's.  Then he starts his workday.

Wednesdays are different, because I don't have to go to work.  I get up at 7:00, make sure the older two boys are dressed and eating, and then I finish packing their lunches.  I do that so I don't have to keep reminding everyone to make sure someone packed the lunches.  Then I kiss TJ and Sam and crawl back into bed.  Nolan usually joins me in my room and plays with the iPad until I'm fully conscious.

I really was sleepy yesterday.  I packed the lunches, kissed all three boys, and went back to bed.  When I woke up, Nolan gave me a hard time for kissing him good-bye when neither of us left.  He said he had to give it back.  I leaned over him and assumed he would give me a kiss.  But instead, he just pressed his face into mine.  Apparently, that is how you get un-kissed.

Isn't it Ironic?

Last night at church, TJ broke his glasses.  He was adjusting them (I think he was trying to push them more tightly to his ears or something) and they snapped in two.  Since he wasn't being naughty, neither Bill or I punished him.  Besides, he was so upset there was no need.  He understood that he simply wasn't careful enough with them.

Being the wonderfully helpful person she is, my mom dropped Nolan off at preschool this morning then took TJ's glasses to the eye doctor.  I was hoping he would have some frames TJ could borrow while we ordered new ones.  But it was our lucky day!  TJ"s frames were still under warranty, so he got a one-time free replacement.  They had one pair of his exact frames on hand, so my mom left the eye doctor with a brand-new completely free pair of glasses.  Whew!

She decided to bring them to TJ on her way to pick up Nolan from preschool.  She got there around 11:40.  So TJ had been in school for just over 3 hours with no glasses.  Would you believe that during that time, TJ had a vision test??  Nope.  I'm not kidding.  He had a vision test, and (big surprise) he didn't do very well on it.  He came home with a paper that I had to fill out, verifying that yes, he is under the care of an eye doctor, and yes, he should have been wearing his glasses.

My mom said he had JUST finished the test when she got there.  I can't figure out why they didn't immediately re-test him.  But his teacher has been out of town on a family emergency this week, and I guess no one else thought to suggest it.

Replacement for sprinklers

So, summer is over. The sprinklers are off, the garden no longer needs watering, and Daddy had mowed the lawn for the last time this season.

What's an unusual kid to do? Well, Sam is forced to change his interests to indoor things. When he isn't marking invisible fire drill buttons, he is hauling out candles for me to light. We aren't having a seance, I'm just trying to keep him happy. He never plays with them, he just monitors them.

S.W. Baron, Safety Inspector

A couple weeks ago, East Elementary had a fire drill. I am sure it wasn't Sam's first fire drill, but for some reason, he really got obsessed after this drill. When I was at his school for his Halloween party,he pointed out every single light that flashes during a drill and showed me where all the alarm pulls are.

He has also been quizzing me on fire safety in our home and various escape routes we can take.

Then he got ahold of my sticky notes. We have tons of them, so it doesn't bother me when he plays with them. I had to laugh when I found them all over my house.

I also had to laugh when Mr Safety Inspector put on the most ridiculous glasses I have ever seen. I have no idea where he got them. He looks like Elton John.

Does that hurt?

On Thursday, Sam had a scratch on the middle of his forehead. My mom asked him about it after school. Sam couldn't remember how he got it. I asked him about it when I got home from work. Sam said he had no idea how it got there.

Bill came home from a business trip last night and immediately noticed Sam's injury. He asked Sam about it. This time Sam was ready with an answer. "Maybe my brains are exploding out."

Apparently, he's too smart to hold it all in??

Meet George Jetson

Every week, TJ comes home with an assignment out of his Social Studies book.  He has to read the passage, then complete a homework sheet on the passage.

Yesterday's passage was about being ecologically responsible in the future.  I had TJ read the passage out loud to me.  I was a little surprised by it.  I tend to be 'green', but this passage was quite opinionated and I didn't necessarily agree with everything in it.  When TJ got to the questions at the end, I discovered that had been done intentionally.  TJ had to go through the passage again and find items that were facts and items that were opinions.

After he finished his homework, TJ showed me the illustration that went along with the passage.  It was very futuristic.  It kinda reminded me of Tomorrowland at Disney World, or of the Jetson's.  I'm guessing that TJ's teacher mentioned the Jetson's in class, because TJ started asking questions.  He wondered if I had ever heard of the show, and if I had watched it.  I started singing the theme song, which of course, got him more curious.

I told him that the Jetson's wasn't really accurate, since we don't yet have our flying cars.  He wanted to watch an episode, so I pulled up the very first episode on my phone and handed it to him.  Then I watched him as he watched an entire TV episode on his mom's cell phone.  Hmm.  Maybe we aren't too far away from the Jetson's after all!

A few Sam-isms

So I mentioned last time that Sam is really excited about pumpkins lately.  Bill and I went up north last weekend, and I arranged for my parents to take the boys to the pumpkin patch while we were gone.  I spoke with Sam on the phone the morning they went and asked if he was excited.  I could tell by his voice that he was.  He informed me that he was going to get three pumpkins: "A big one, a sized one, and a little one."  My boys use that word every once in a while.  They use it in place of 'regular', 'average' or 'medium'.  It always makes me laugh.

For the record, Grandma let him select two pumpkins.  I appreciated that, since we already had the one from Meijer.  I don't want them to take over my front porch.

This morning, Sam and TJ were having a discussion about doctors.  Sam was saying, "Yep, that's the doctor I went to when we found out about my aspirin."  I wasn't sure what he was talking about.  Sam has never taken aspirin in his life.  But a moment later, he used the word again.  I asked him if he meant 'asthma'.  He said, "Oh, right.  That's the word."

Last week, it was nearly bedtime, but I was still completing the tedious task of changing the bedding on the bunk beds.  The boys are not supposed to be in their room while I am doing this, as they just get in my way and slow me way down.  Bill found Sam out in the hall, waiting.  Sam said, "I can't go in my room.  Mama is still building the beds."

Obsessed

It's been a wet, gloomy weekend.  This afternoon, I took Sam to Meijer with me.  When we were loading up the car to come home, we noticed that it was once again getting dark off to the west (this was followed by yet another discussion of which way is west, which way is east, which way is north...you get the idea).  I told Sam I hoped we would make it home before it started raining.  We had the Cruze, and it is parked in the driveway until the Saab goes to storage for the winter (which is soon, hopefully.  I'm getting tired of scraping ice off of the Cruze in the mornings).  Anyway, we hurried home and I quickly unloaded the car.  Sam and TJ turned on the radar and the excitement quickly grew out of control.  It got WINDY!  It started to RAIN!  The clouds were DARK!  Then we saw one or two flashes of LIGHTNING!  The boys get so excited it is almost impossible to have a conversation with Bill.  At one point, I muttered to him that their excitement level had reached the orgasmic stage.  He snickered and agreed.

Sam's other obsession this week has been pumpkins.  He wanted so badly to go to the pumpkin patch yesterday and pick out our annual pumpkin.  But the rain totally foiled our plans.  He's been talking about his disappointment all weekend.  He perked up considerably when I let him pick out a small $2 pumpkin at Meijer to tide him over until we do get to the pumpkin patch.  He held it the entire time we shopped, and our very understanding cashier gave it back to him as soon as she rang it up.  He carefully put it on on the front porch as soon as we got home.

Since everyone's sprinklers are off for the winter, Sam is back to doing artwork.  This week, he's been painting pictures of the radar and pumpkins.  I actually think he's a pretty decent artist.  He did not get that from me.

The kind of thing that will give you nightmares...

Back in June, the boys went to a birthday party for their cousin Clark.  Angry Birds cupcakes were served at the party and each cupcake had an Angry Bird ring in it.  The boys also got a ring in their goody bag when we left.  So, we had quite a few Angry Birds rings.  The boys were thrilled, as all three of them are huge fans of the game.  Bill and I got used to seeing the rings laying around the house.

Earlier this month,  noticed one was in the laundry room.  I thought that was an odd place for it, so I picked it up, turned it over, and almost had a heart attack.  There was no chubby red, yellow, or black bird with a disgusted look on its face.  Instead, there was this:

Justin Bieber!?!?  Why is this in my house?  And what is wrong with that boy?  What self-respecting teenager allows his face to be put on a cheap plastic ring?

I dropped the ring in horror and left it there for Bill to discover.  He found it shortly afterwards and made me throw it away.  But I took a picture of it first. I felt a need to scare the rest of you, and prove that something so ridiculous actually existed.

Anticipation

Now that the Disney trip has come and gone, there is an empty spot on our whiteboard where our countdown used to be. Clearly, this is bothering Nolan. The other morning he asked me to please write the number 98 in the blank space. I asked why and he said he wanted to start counting down the days until we went back to Disney World.

Poor little guy. The number is actually much closer to 1600, but I didn't have the heart to tell him that. I just changed the subject.

TJ's Sunflower

At the end of the school year last spring, Mr. Sagorski sent his class home with two plants.  TJ had a pumpkin seedling and a tiny sunflower plant.  The pumpkin plant, sadly, became a meal for some local wildlife.  But the sunflower flourished.  All three boys enjoyed watching it grow all summer.  And did it ever grow!  It looks like it's taking over the garden!

Today's Disney Moments

We went to Animal Kingdom today. We all rode the Kali River Rapids. The boys loved it, but we got quite wet, especially Nolan and I. My underwear was still wet several hours later. I also had my afternoon dose of Midodrine in my pocket. It was completely dissolved after I was doused with water. Oops.

Tonight, TJ endured several hours of shopping with his mom and grandma at Downtown Disney, just so he could get a stuffed Perry (from Phineas and Ferb). He went to sleep a tired but happy kid.

As usual, my pictures are out of order. Sorry!

Pill Popper

Sam detests his liquid anti-depressant.  I am guessing it tastes REALLY bad, because he complains for awhile after he drinks it about the bad taste he can't get out of his mouth.  We give him a glass of juice to chase the medication down with, and he still struggles.  With the last bottle, I paid $3 extra to get his medication flavored like strawberries.  He informed me that I made it taste even worse.

I told him I was out of ideas.  The only other thing we could do was get him pills to take instead of the liquid.  Sam perked right up and agreed to learn to swallow pills.

So yesterday was the big day.  The dreaded liquid was finally gone (yes, I made him finish the bottle.  I paid an extra $3 for that stuff!).  He got a bottle with very small pills.  He has to take 1 1/2 per day.

I gave him the proper dose, explained how he needed to put them on his tongue, then put a mouthful of juice in his mouth and swallow the liquid WITH the pill.  I never thought about it, but it is a little tricky to try and teach someone how to swallow pills.

Sam put the pills on his tongue.  He drank some juice.  He looked puzzled.  The pills were still on his tongue.  I told him to try again and go slower.  Sam did so, and then gave a huge swallow.  He looked relieved.  "One is gone!" he said.  I noticed the other one was dissolving on his tongue.  That couldn't have tasted very good!  I told him to try one last time.  This time he got the pill down immediately.

He was so proud of himself.  He informed me that the pills were much better than the liquid.  They were much cheaper too!  I got 3 months worth for about $12.

Bill and I continue to be pleased with how this medication is working for Sam.  He is so much more relaxed.  Hopefully, now that he is learning to swallow pills, we will see even more improvement!

Mommy's Little Mummy

I always check on the boys before I go to bed. Last night, we had a bit of thunder and lightning shortly after bedtime. I was surprised no one had gotten up during that time. You know how fond TJ and Sam are of thunder storms! Anyway, they were exhausted and everyone was sleeping soundly when I did my nightly rounds.

I started laughing out loud when I saw Nolan. Normally, he is only partially covered by the blanket or sheet. But last night, he was completely mummified in his blanket. I had a good laugh, had Bill check him out, and then I carefully unwound Nolan. He was quite warm under the blankets.

This morning, Nolan informed me that the lightning had been scary, so he hid under the blankets where he was safe. He's so cute.

9 1/2 years

Nine and a half years ago, in March 2003, I had a message on our answering machine that changed my life.  It was Jennifer, calling from Dr. Young's office.  When I nervously returned her phone call, she told me that our IVF procedure had been successful, and I was pregnant.  The following week, after a few more blood tests confirmed a baby was definitely on the way, Dr. Young called and left a message, congratulating us.  Bill and I vowed to never delete those messages.

In November 2005, we added a third special 'do not delete' message to our answering machine.  Dr. Young called to tell us he had heard the good news that Sam was on his way.  He sounded surprised and pleased in his message, because none of us were optimistic that the frozen embryo transfer would work.

For years, Bill has said he was going to somehow preserve those messages.  But we never got around to figuring out how to back up answering machine messages.  And it's easy to let time slip by.  Reality hit us hard this week when my overly helpful almost nine-year-old deleted those precious messages.  Just like that, they were gone.

When I told Bill, he looked like he'd been punched in the stomach.  I was upset too, but not as upset as I thought I would be.  The messages will never be forgotten, and honestly, it's much better having three noisy, rambunctious, sometimes argumentative boys right here with me.

And I figured I could blog about it, so that some day, the boys will know just how overjoyed we were to learn that our prayers had been answered and they were on their way.

There was no phone call with Nolan.  Just me, standing in the bathroom, staring in disbelief at a positive pregnancy test.  I'll never forget that moment either.  I actually had enough presence of mind to take a picture of the pregnancy test.  TJ can't delete that one!

I have no words

Bill is in Detroit today and tomorrow. That meant tonight was a busy evening. It was further complicated by the fact that I went to the shoe store and Meijer on my way home. Then I stopped and picked up the boys and their backpacks from my mom's. So we had quite a few things in the car by the time we got home. The boys all jumped out of the van and headed inside, empty-handed. I scolded them and thought they all turned around to help me carry stuff inside.

But in the midst of working on laundry, emptying backpacks, and making dinner, I realized I didn't have Sam's backpack. I had seen him put it in the van, so I knew it was around somewhere. I called out to him and asked him to see if his backpack was in the van. He grumbled, but went out to look. He came back in a minute later (while I was in the midst of doing laundry) and said yes, I was right, he had left his backpack in the van.

I got the dryer going and looked around to see where his backpack was. I couldn't find it. I checked the front hall, the kitchen, and the dining room. No backpack. I called for Sam again and asked him WHERE he had put the backpack. "Oh," he said. "I left it in the van. I told you I wanted YOU to bring it in."

What?! You have got to be kidding me! You betcha I marched him right back outside to get his own backpack and bring it inside.

Disaster

No, not turning 36. Ask me again when I hit 40.

This was the first week of school. By Thursday, Nolan had come down with a bad cold. In the middle of the night last night, Sam came to me complaining of a sore throat. This morning, both Bill and I feel like we are fighting the cold.

I asked TJ if he still felt okay and he said yes. Then he said, "And it's a good thing too! Because you know what happens when I get sick. It's a DISASTER!"

I really don't have the foggiest idea of what he's talking about. He's old enough to blow his own nose without being reminded and he tells me when he needs more cough medicine. So, in some ways, he's a pretty good sick person. Apparently, not in his opinion!

Enjoy the first day of school picture. They wouldn't smile until Bill started walking around behind me with a book on his head.

Unable to Multitask

For the past several weeks, I've been stocking up on snacks the boys can take to school. They all (including Nolan) need to take a morning snack with them. And I try hard to make sure I have items on hand that they actually want to eat.

Usually, I just pack their snacks without saying anything to the kids. But in honor of the first day of school tomorrow, I got out all the goodies I had stashed and lined them up on the counter. I told the boys to go ahead and pick out what they wanted. At the same time, I reminded Nolan to take off his shoes, as he has forgotten to do so when he came inside.

In his excitement over his snack choices (which included some super cool Angry Birds graham crackers), Nolan did not take his shoes off. Instead, he pulled his pants and underwear down. A couple minutes after selecting the Angry Birds crackers, Nolan looked down in surprise and said, "Hey! My pants are falling down!"

A few random pictures

1. While the rest of the state watched the Michigan-Alabama game, TJ was completely engrossed in a documentary on the Lusitania. We were at my parent's house and had to pry TJ away from the TV after an hour and a half. It was bedtime and Sam still needed to take a shower. TJ was quite unhappy with us (we don't have the National Geographic channel at our house).

2. Nolan ordered the Clown Sundae at the ice cream shop in Coopersville. It's essentially an upside down ice cream cone with a face, whipped cream, and sprinkles. It's only $1.05! Nolan was thrilled with it!

3. The boys (primarily TJ) have been counting down the days until Disney World. And TJ decided to throw in a reminder for his mom to pick up some more double A batteries. Both Bill and I had to read that a couple times to figure out what he meant.

4. Sam's strange obsession with Toyotas continues. He was so happy that Grandma Ellen came over tonight. She brought her Toyota and Sam posed for pictures. Last week, he checked out Uncle Eric's Toyota minivan and we scoured the parking lot at church to see who else drove a Toyota. There is a Buick dealership in Coopersville, and people are pretty loyal to it. We found a grand total of two Toyotas in the parking lot, and that included Eric's!

Scientific Taste Test

Sam is not a fan of fruit.  He does genuinely like bananas, apples, and applesauce.  That's about it.  To get him to eat any other fruit is usually a battle.

A couple weeks ago, I served strawberries with a fruit dip I had made.  Sam was horrified.  He couldn't believe I expected him to eat 3 pieces of strawberry!  (I had cut the strawberries in half, so we are talking a grand total of 1.5 strawberries here).  He moaned, he groaned, he complained, he acted as though the three bites would be fatal.  I tried coaxing him and negotiating with him.  No dice.  So, I got silly.  I told him we were going to conduct a scientific survey to see which he thought was better: strawberry alone, or strawberry with the fruit dip.  Sam was intrigued.  I told him we had to establish a base, so that meant he had to eat a plain strawberry first.  He did so. Sometimes it amazes me the stuff my kids will do when I make it sound fancy!  Then I told him he had to cleanse his pallet, so I gave him some apple juice.  He laughed and drank the apple juice.  Then, he tried a bite of strawberry with the fruit dip.  I told him to chew it slowly and experience the fruit dip (Yes, I know.  I'm full of it).  By this time, all three boys were laughing, but Sam ate bite #2 and looked quite thoughtful.  I told him it was decision time.  Which was better?  Strawberry alone, or strawberry with fruit dip?  Sam selected Bite #2.  This meant Bite #3 would also have the fruit dip and he would know for sure it was the winner.

The following night, Sam ate more strawberries with fruit dip, so I considered myself the real winner.

Tonight's poison was pineapple tidbits.  Only, this time there was no fruit dip.  Once again, Sam had 3 pieces of pineapple on his plate.  Once again, he was moaning and groaning and telling me he was not going to eat his fruit.  Then he asked me if I could turn it into a taste test.

Disclaimer:  If you are eating something right now, I suggest you stop.

I looked around the table and told Sam that I didn't see anything he could sample his pineapple with, unless he was going to try it with ketchup.  He said, "Okay!" and popped Bite #1 (plain pineapple) in his mouth.  I was feeling a bit horrified, but I still got him his apple juice so he could cleanse his pallet.  Then I put some ketchup on Bite #2 and rather doubtfully watched Sam to see what he would do next.  Both TJ and Nolan were completely enthralled.  Bill was pretending he didn't know us.

Sam put Bite #2 in his mouth.  His mother shuddered.  Sam chewed it carefully, while he laughed. 

The saddest part of this story?  Sam selected the pineapple with ketchup as his preferred bite.  So Bite #3 also had ketchup on it.

GROSS.  But--he did eat the fruit....

My tightly wound child

So it's been almost two months since we started Sam on his prescription for anxiety.  We had to increase the dose once, but we are starting to see some serious results.  At bedtime, he goes to bed.  And stays there.  He isn't up a dozen times, checking to make sure I'm right nearby.  He hasn't needed me to sit with him until he fell asleep in over a month.

Most nights, he sleeps all night.  However, if he wakes up and has to go to the bathroom, he is still having a difficult time going back to his own bed.  But, he no longer gets me up.  He just crawls into bed next to me.  I don't really mind that.  He is putting himself back to sleep.

Saturday morning, it was probably around 6:00 a.m. when I noticed Sam was in the bathroom.  A moment later, he was by the side of my bed, preparing to crawl in.  But then TJ came in.  TJ hates being alone in his room, and it bothers him when he wakes up and Sam isn't there.  The two of them had a whispered conversation and then Sam turned to me and said, "Mom, I'm going to go back into my room.  TJ needs me."  I was only half awake, but I was really touched by that.  Sam put his concern for his brother over his own anxieties.

The other day, the little boy from the end of the street came over to play.  My boys hadn't known he was coming and they were thrilled to see him.  There was lots of excited chatter in the hallway when he came in.  Sam greeted him cheerfully, but the commotion was just too much for him.  I looked out the front window a minute later and saw Sam quietly playing a game in the driveway.  So, he still isn't the most social kid on the planet, but he is learning how to cope without taking away from other people's fun.

Sam starts first grade next week.  I hope and pray that he is able to make friends and fit in.

Vehicular ponderings

TJ and Sam have been thinking about cars lately.  Not in the way most kids think about cars.  No, mine are too weird for that.

TJ is trying to figure out the concept of money and how much things cost.  He asked me the other day if cars were really expensive.  I agreed that they certainly were.  So he asked about the Cruze.  We've had it for a year, but it's still our 'new' car, and he knows we bought it brand new.  He said, "Did the Cruze cost..." he paused and I could tell he was trying to come up with a REALLY big number "...two HUNDRED dollars?"  I started laughing right away.  I told him it was closer to twenty thousand.  TJ looked absolutely shocked.  I guess 8-year-olds don't think in thousands.

Sam has developed a strange obsession with Toyotas.  I have no idea why.  He just keeps asking if every car we see is a Toyota.  He wants me to find Toyotas.  He wants to talk about Toyotas.  Would you believe that in the past couple of days we have hardly seen any?  Typically, they are everywhere!  It's really frustrating to him that Daddy and I can't come up with more Toyotas.  He isn't satisfied if I say things like "Uncle Eric's van is a Toyota", or "Grandma Ellen drives a Toyota Camry".  He wants to see them.  It's really strange.

On a completely different note, school starts in 14 days!  I hope their teachers are ready!

They just keep coming...

We had dinner tonight at my parent's house.  After we ate, everyone was watching the Animal Planet Show, "My Cat from Hell".  If you haven't seen that show, check it out.  The boys love it, but they call it "My Cat from H".  Anyway, I tore myself away from the latest evil cat to inform Bill that I was going to go work out on the elliptical downstairs.  TJ piped up, "Oh, you're FINALLY going to go exercise?"

Ouch, Kid.  Ouch.  For the record, I've been feeling much better the past couple weeks and have been working out regularly again.  My cardiologist adjusted my medications and it seems to be working (for the time being).  I'm trying to drop ten or so pounds before we leave for Disney World (five weeks from today!).

When we got home tonight, Sam needed to take a shower.  As is often the case, he opted to use my shower.  I turned the water on and he climbed in.  Immediately, he started scrutinizing the shower nozzle.  He informed me that I needed to adjust it, because it was 'wrong'.  I asked him how he could tell and he informed me that the water was hitting the shower wall in the wrong spot.  How does he notice these things??

Nolan is now in physical therapy twice a week for his sore feet.  He will also be seeing a pediatric orthopedic specialist to figure out why he walks funny, but the therapist's job is to help him learn better techniques.  She observed him last week and was pointing out several things he did incorrectly, all of which will make walking exhausting for him.  When we left, I set up his appointments for next week.  The receptionist is a young man, probably in his mid twenties.  As we walked out the door, Nolan gave him his biggest smile and said, "See you later, Dr. Conner!"

Dr. Conner has been Nolan's doctor since his birth.  She is a woman and is probably twenty years older than the male receptionist.  I had a good laugh over that one.

Overheard at the Baron household

Just in the past week....

Nolan: "Why do those people have their eyes shut?" (My response, "They are praying"). Nolan: "Uh huh. It looks like they are asleep."

Nolan: "I'm tired." Me: "Oh yeah?" Nolan: "Me too".

Sam: "Why is the Coast Guard helicopter at the Coast Guard parade?"

Sam: "I've never really felt alive"

Sam: "I'm a worrier." (That has to be the most obvious statement he has ever made!)

TJ: "How many tomatoes do you think will grow on our cucumber plant?"

Bill: "I'm sitting on a panel of experts at the meeting next week" (he really is, I just found this to be extremely funny)

Bill (calling me at work): Is my cell phone in your purse?

Why in the world would I have his cell phone?? Turns out it was in a container of Sam's toy campers and trailers. Bill put it in there for safe-keeping.

Tender Moment

Yesterday morning, TJ was very anxious to get over to my mom's house to play. Normally, I wouldn't let them go over there on a Saturday morning, but Clark and Miles were there. Plus, she said it was all right, so that makes it her fault. :-)

Our stuffed Angry Birds collection had grown this week and the boys were excited about taking the toys over to my mom's to play with Clark. TJ bagged all of the animals up, helped Nolan get his shoes on, and the three of them were out the door. I stood at the kitchen window to watch them as far as the corner of Canterbury and Canterbury Court. If it had just been TJ and/or Sam, I wouldn't have worried about it, but since Nolan was with them, I wanted to make sure they were staying to the side of the road.

They were hurrying down the road single-file. TJ was in the lead, carrying the bag of birds and pigs. Nolan was next, running as fast as his short legs and awkward gait can take him. Sam was in the back, probably counting the neighbor's sprinkler heads.

Because Nolan can't run very fast (we are still trying to figure out what's up with his feet and/or legs), Sam passed Nolan quite quickly. Nolan fell quite far behind by the time they had gone about 15 yards. I felt so bad for him, watching him struggle to keep up. But suddenly, Sam stopped, turned, saw how far behind his little brother had fallen, then went back to him, and took his hand. He held Nolan's hand the rest of the way down the street.

My heart was just about bursting with pride and love!

Bye bye butterflies

By this evening, we had five butterflies who really needed to stretch their wings and fly. The boys were a bit bummed that it was time, but they all came outside to say goodbye.

One would think that the butterflies would have flown out as soon as we opened the top of the container. They didn't. We had to coax them out. But the moment they realized they were free, they almost seemed happy. The boys got a kick out of watching then flutter off into the sunset.

Beauty takes time

TJ and I had appointments to get our hair cut tonight. We were more than a week overdue for haircuts, because Stephanie (the girl who has been cutting my hair for years) was on vacation last week. TJ, who normally pays no attention to such things, commented to me more than once this week that he knew he needed a haircut. We were both looking a bit shaggy.

So he WANTED to get his hair cut tonight, but TJ was also quite tired. My mom seems to be on a mission this summer to wear the boys out (which I do appreciate!). This afternoon, they spent 3 hours at the splash pad and the beach at Millennium Park. So, TJ was whipped.

Which is why he was dreading the sitting and waiting part of haircut night. Shortly before we left, he asked (rather anxiously), "You aren't getting your hair painted tonight, are you?"

I had a good laugh over that. Then I reminded him that I had just had my hair 'highlighted' last time, so it was just a cut for both of us tonight. TJ was relieved to hear it.

Now I should be going to bed, but I keep picturing Stephanie with a big, thick paintbrush. For some reason, the paint I keep picturing is blue. I wonder if that technique would work well....

Butterflies

For Sam's fifth birthday last year, he received a Live Butterfly Garden. Basically, it was just a collapsible mesh container and a coupon for butterflies. I ordered the caterpillars, paid $5 shipping and they arrived a couple days later. Last year, we got 3 tiny caterpillars and the boys very much enjoyed watching all three transform into butterflies. After we released them, I scrubbed out the container (butterflies poop a lot!), and stowed it away in the boys' closet.

For his sixth birthday last week, Sam requested more butterflies. I foolishly assumed this would be an inexpensive gift. We had the container for the butterflies, all we needed was a 'refill' of caterpillars. Well, this is where the company sucks you in. It's $5 for the first time you order butterflies. The next time, it's $16. Yikes.

But it's worth it. This year, we received five caterpillars and they grew from teeny tiny little things to five large caterpillars in just a few days. My least favorite part is when they make their cocoons. Then you have to take them out of their little container that they shipped in and move them into the mesh container. I won't do that part. I make Bill do it. It's icky.

This morning, some butterflies started emerging. So far, two are out of their chrysalis'. It's been fun watching the boys. Someone has been studying the butterflies all day and checking to se if we have any more. Unfortunately, Willoughby also discovered the butterflies, so we moved them to the Florida Room so he won't pounce on their container.

Here's TJ admiring the two butterflies. I love how it looks like they are sitting on his face. You can also see the three butterflies who have yet to emerge. Maybe tomorrow!

Coping mechanisms

I've mentioned before that Sam struggles with anxiety. He's always been a little tightly wound, but after he started having asthma attacks at night, he really started getting panicky if I wasn't right there with him. Honestly, I don't blame him. I cannot imagine how terrifying it would be to wake out of a sound sleep and not be able to breathe.

When I took Sam in for his six-year well-child visit, I mentioned the nightly panic attacks to the doctor. I also talked about his strange moods (when he is upset or embarrassed, he lashes out and can become almost violent, he is so angry at whatever he's feeling). I also talked about how rigid he is with routines...to the point where he has to do things in a certain order, or he can't function.

I love our doctor. She always listens carefully, instead of dismissing me as a paranoid mother. She suggested we try a mild anti-depressant. Primarily, she wanted to help stop the panic attacks. But she also felt it could help his mood swings and his OCD.

So, Sam takes a very small dose of a liquid antidepressant at night. He can't stand the way it tastes, so we have to bribe him with apple juice. At first, I wasn't sure it was working. I'm still not convinced we have the dosage right. But my brother-in-law, John, (the pharmacist) advised me that since this is a behavioral issue, not a chemical imbalance, it can take a few months for the medication to work to its full potential. That made me feel better.

And we are seeing some improvements. Sam has slept through the night the past two nights. He didn't wake up, convinced he was going to be sick. No screaming, crying, or pounding on doors when he can't find a parent.

We are also learning some coping mechanisms. If I leave Sam in his room at bedtime, he gets up repeatedly, worrying that he is going to be sick and that I won't be there to help. So, Bill and I have been taking turns simply sitting in his room after the lights are out. Sam doesn't have a reason to worry and he goes to sleep within minutes.

Sam has also discovered that additional light is soothing to him. So, as you see the in picture below, he went ahead and decorated the bunk beds with all of his Christmas lights. It is insanely bright in there, but as you can clearly see, he is sound asleep. I unplug the lights before I go to bed.

Bill asked Sam if he was sleeping in a disco. I asked Sam if he felt the runways were lit properly. TJ grumbled that it was too bright. Then he fell asleep.

Saturday Humor

Last night, Bill came home from one of his two-day trips to Detroit. He came in the house and greeted the boys with enthusiasm, like he always does. He went up to Sam, gave him a big hug, and said, "Sam! I missed you!" Sam looked at him calmly and said, "I know."

This afternoon, Nolan climbed on my lap and began complaining about his nose hurting. He wanted me to rub it. But then he continued his sad tale, telling me that where it hurt was on the INSIDE of his nose. I said, "So, you want me to run on the inside of your nose?" "Uh huh". I took a pass on that one.

It is about 11 p.m. TJ just staggered in my bedroom. He didn't say a word, just kept making little squeaky grunts at me. He was leaning to the side and had one eye shut. He was doing a pretty good impersonation of the Hunchback of Notre Dame. I asked him several times what was wrong, and all I got in response were the little grunts. I finally got off the bed, walked over to him and guided him back to his bed. He climbed up, laid down, and went back to sleep. He does that every once in awhile. It is highly doubtful he will remember any of this in the morning.

Mr Lovable

99% of the time, Nolan is a lovable sweetheart. He's very affectionate and quick to tell me how much he loves me.

Nolan is also a very sweet and loving cousin. Last week, he spent a considerable amount of time playing with Charlotte, with Miles, and with Allison. He is quite patient and kind. I think he would have made a wonderful big brother.

This is my first attempt at uploading pictures onto my blog from my phone, so we will see if this works. But here is Nolan kissing Allison, hugging Allison, and then you see how Allison felt about all of the attention. I love these kiddos!

(I cannot get the pictures in the correct order, but you get the idea!)

Sam Baron and the Case of the Missing Underpants

Last week, we encountered a mystery of epic proportions while at Cran-Hill. I still haven't figured it out.

For the first four days, Sam slept on the bottom bunk in the back of my parent's camper. After that, he joined me in the pop up. So while he was in my mom's camper, it meant I was not there to see him get dressed in the morning.

I had to do some laundry on Tuesday, because Nolan's overnight Pull-up failed (a rather common occurrence, unfortunately). So I gathered up everyone's laundry and headed to the facilities provided by the camp. When I was folding laundry, I noticed Sam had only one pair of underwear in the wash. He should have had two pairs. I was puzzled and asked my mom to keep an eye out for the missing pair.

Fast forward to Friday night. I had gotten Sam through the camp shower, walked him and Nolan back to our camper, and put them in bed. No more than 5 minutes passed between when I walked in the camper to when I walked out. I came out and laying in plain sight in the grass was a pair of Sam's underwear. It was NOT the pair he had been wearing that day (trust me--it was different Lego Star Wars characters). I asked John, Amanda, and Nate if they knew where this pair had come from, but they had no idea what I was talking about. I was (and still am) completely confused. Did this pair fall out of the sky? Was this the missing pair from earlier in the week? Where had they been hiding and where did they come from?

Things only got more strange the next day. I did more laundry. Sam should have had 4-5 pairs of underwear in the wash. How many did he have? Two. The pair I found outside, and the pair he had taken off that morning in the pop up and I set in the laundry basket. Where is the rest of his dirty underwear? After I got back from the laundry room, I asked Sam if he had been changing his underwear every day. Sam was highly insulted and insisted that he had been. So, where are all these other pairs? Will my mom find them in some unusual place when she empties out the trailer? Why, oh why, can Sam not use the laundry basket??

And the biggest question of all--do I want the missing underwear to be found? :-)

So smart it's scary

The boys have gotten so dirty during our week camping, that showers have become part of our evening ritual. Cran-Hill has two family bathrooms, which means there is a private shower, toilet, and sink in a bathroom. And a bench for me to sit on while Sam and Nolan play in the shower. I couldn't live without that bench. The ventilation in the family bathrooms is pretty bad and it gets so hot in there I can hardly stay upright.

(TJ, by the way, has informed me that he is too old to shower with his brothers, so he has been showering on his own every night. My baby is growing up. Sniff, sniff)

So tonight, Bill is in the bathroom helping me. He's toweling off Nolan and I am drying Sam. Out of the blue, Sam says, "Mom, when you are 65, I will be 35."

I stopped toweling him and just stared at him. I asked him how he knew that. He said, "Oh, I just thought it up right now." I looked over at Bill, and I could tell he was double-checking the math in his head. But Sam was exactly right.

I told Sam that he was so smart it scared me. He was very confused by that statement. I laughed and told him he could keep on being smart, even if I was scared.

Sounding it out

Last Sunday, TJ was amusing himself by filling out the communication card in the bulletin. He was filling it out as though he was the adult. He decided to use his given name, rather than his nickname. But his name isn't exactly easy. He carefully wrote 'T-h-e-o' and then paused to think the rest over. He glanced at me, gave me a proud smile and finished with 'D-O-O-R'. I couldn't help it. I started snickering. Theodoor? He looked miffed and said, "What? That's how you spell 'door'!" I have had a difficult time explaining to him since then that names aren't always spelled the way they sound. And besides, he isn't a type of door.

Parental Control

I recall that when I was a 'tween' and in my early teens, the big controversy on television was MTV. Several of my friends' parents blocked that channel so it wasn't available to my friends or their older siblings. We didn't have cable until I was in high school, so i was fairly oblivious to the controversy.

These days, MTV seems almost tame. Everyone knows they primarily show reality TV. You're pretty hard-pressed to actually find a music video on that channel. What's the big controversy in the Baron Household? Cartoon Network. Yes, that's right. Cartoon Network. It sounds like such a kid-friendly channel. You wouldn't think there would be anything inappropriate on Cartoon Network, or if there was, that it would be on later at night. Well, you'd be wrong if you assumed that. There are a few shows we don't mind--Lego Ninjago is fine, and I'm fine with the 'classics', like Loony Toons. But TJ has stumbled across more than one show where the language is questionable, the plop lines make me uncomfortable, and there are multiple sexual innuendos. Yes, on cartoons. And we aren't talking about Beevis and Butthead, here. These cartoons seemed to be geared toward elementary-aged children!

Bill and I have repeatedly asked TJ NOT to turn those shows on. But TJ just couldn't control himself. And Sam and Nolan had seen a few of those episodes too. So we finally blocked the channel tonight. We are still DVRing Ninjago for TJ, but it's under the block. So, we have to enter in a passcode each and every time he wants to watch an episode. It will be a huge pain in the butt. But it will be worth it. If we don't start putting our foot down now,, it's just going to get worse.

Ugh. Mail.

Remember when you were a kid and it was so exciting to get mail? Well, it just isn't that way once you are an adult.

Case in point...today's mail:
1. Our Charter internet bill. We are locked in at a monthly rate of $39.99. So imagine my excitement when this month's bill is $74.99. Why is it higher? Well, Charter billed us for a service call. We had been having consistent trouble with our wifi. Bill replaced the router but the problems continued. He finally had Charter come out and take a look at it. Turns out it was THEIR problem. They were feeding way too strong a signal into the house. Since the problem was outside the house and was their responsibility, we were not supposed to have been billed for it. and yet, there it was. Bill grumbled quite a bit and said he'd be having a chat with Charter tomorrow.

2. We got our Explanation of Benefits for our trip to the chiropractor three weeks ago. We have an H.S.A. plan and we finally hit our deductible for the year. That means the appointment should have been covered in full for the entire family. But for some reason, all five of our appointments were processed as an out-of-network visit, meaning Blue Cross didn't pay a dime of it. Ugh! Now I have to track down someone at the chiropractor's office (and of course they are closed until next week) and ask them to resubmit the claim. Otherwise, I have a bill of nearly $200 hanging over my head.

3. This one was my personal favorite. I received a letter from the Spectrum Health Weight Loss Clinic letting me know that a certain doctor was no longer participating in bariatric surgery. I would need to see someone else in the practice.

Um. What? I have never in my life consulted a weight loss physician, especially regarding bariatric surgery. Is someone trying to tell me something?

Like I said, mail isn't any fun anymore.

Really observant? Or really weird?

Over the weekend we went to Illinois to visit our relatives. Once again, we found ourselves using a variety of public bathrooms. And Sam said something that surprised me. As we walked into each bathroom, he would check right behind the seat and he would make a comment. "That's the same as ours." Later, he said, "That one is the same as Auntie Boo's." He was commenting on the brand of toilet! Are you kidding me?? What's even more strange (or maybe not--this is Sam we are talking about) is that I think he was right each time he made an observance.

I'm still trying to decide if I am in awe of him or completely baffled by him.

What brand is your toilet?

Vacation Reflections, Chapter 3: Mr. Nolan, Captain Obvious

It's so hard not to laugh when you are having a conversation with Nolan.  He says and does some of the silliest (and sweetest) things.  And he's not even trying to be charming!

On Day 1, as we were leaving McDonald's in Wisconsin, Nolan was beside himself, he was so tired.  He was walking to the van and apparently, rather zoned out.  I was about five feet ahead of him and I opened the van door for him.  I turned just in time to see him walk smack into the side mirror of the car next to us.  He hit it so hard that I actually checked to make sure he hadn't damaged the car.  Understandably, he immediately burst into tears.  I scooped him up and tried to comfort him while I checked for injuries (another day, another bruise in the life of Nolan).  Nolan stopped sobbing long enough to say, "I wasn't looking where I was going!"

Yes.  I noticed.

Later in the week, Nolan decided to start working on his math skills.  He was talking to himself.  "One plus one equals eleven" was his wise observance.  I laughed.  I corrected him, but I also thought that in a way, he was right.  If you put two 1s next to each other, you do get eleven.

By the end of the week, Nolan was walking around the house saying "two plus two equals four, three plus three equals six".  That's my smart boy!

Nolan is just like his Daddy and his brothers in that he likes some white noise while he is sleeping.  All of the bedrooms had clock radios in them, so I located what I thought was a nice classical music station for him.  They were playing some piano music that sounded kind of like a hymn.  Nolan agreed that it was a good station, so I kissed him good night and left the room.  An hour later, I checked on him and almost started laughing out loud.  Nolan was sound asleep, sprawled out in the middle of his big bed.  The soft piano music was no longer playing.  In its place, was a religious person of some sort, yelling out a fire and brimstone sermon.  And Nolan slept right through it. 

On Friday night, the night before we came home, Bill and I were inside, packing things up.  Sam and Nolan were outside with their squirt bottles and were playing quite nicely.  I was upstairs emptying some dresser drawers when I heard Nolan crying and Bill speaking in a noticeably angry voice (yes, it does happen on rare occasion--he can get angry).  Nolan continued crying and I thought Bill sounded particularly ticked off, so I went downstairs to see what was going on.

At this point, I need to backtrack.  Let me remind you that we have 3 boys.  And we were in a remote part of the state.  More than once that week, the boys (usually Nolan) had a bathroom emergency when no bathrooms were in sight, so I would give them permission to use a bush.

Back to Friday night.  Apparently, while playing outside with Sam, Nolan realized he needed to have a bowel movement.  Rather than walk the ten feet to the front door, Nolan pulled down his pants and pooped.  In the side yard of the house.  Right in the landscaping.  In broad daylight.  Where people could see him.

Now I understood Bill's tone.  He wasn't really mad, he was mortified!  I had to get a plastic bag and have Sam show me where the item had been deposited.  Trust me, it's far worse than cleaning up after a dog.

After I dealt with that, I went to talk to our wayward son and to put his pajamas on him.  He was still recovering from his tears of shame.  He wrapped his arms around me and said, "I had to say I was sorry four..no five times!"  I laughed.  But he knows now to never, never poop in the yard.

One last funny thing.  The freezer in the rental house did not have an ice cube maker.  It was no big deal, as there were four ice cube trays in there.  But the boys have apparently never seen an ice cube tray before.  All three of them were fascinated with them.  Whenever I needed to get ice out, they'd all gather around to watch me crack the ice and pop the cubes out.  They acted like it was such a strange invention.  It made me feel really, really old.

A brief hiatus

I will not be blogging about my vacation reflections tonight.  I still have some stories about Nolan to share, but those will have to wait for another night.  No, tonight I must share my lovely evening shopping experience.

We had dinner with Bill's mom.  On our way home, we all stopped at Meijer.  Normally, I shop solo, but since we were driving right by, it made sense for us to shop as a family.  In theory, it was supposed to be a quick shopping trip. I didn't need much, and Bill was going to take the older two boys to the far side of the store for some pool supplies we needed and to look at the Legos.  Nolan and I were going to zip through the grocery section and get the food we needed.

Everything was going just fine until the cereal aisle.  Nolan suddenly gave me that frantic look I have learned to hate.  Sure enough, he said, "Potty!"  I groaned.  I asked if he could wait a few minutes.  He thought this over seriously and said, "I can wait five seconds".  Oh dear.  Just then, Bill rounded the corner with his cart, Sam, and one angry 8-year-old who was in the midst of a tantrum.  I ignored Mr. Tantrum, handed Nolan off to Bill and said, "Go!  Find a bathroom!"  Sam decided he needed to go as well, so that left me with two carts...and TJ.  TJ was mad because Bill wouldn't loan him the money he needed to get some Lego thing.  Ugh.  I couldn't maneuver both carts by myself, so I had a hostile child pushing one.  I was quite worried he was going to run my foot over. 

Thankfully, Bill rejoined us fairly soon and helped us pick up the last few items we needed in produce (FYI- never let your husband select the cherries.  He bought almost 3 pounds.  I just about needed a loan to pay for his fruit!).  In the checkout lane, the kids started getting on my nerves in a MAJOR way.  Bill was standing behind us, with a box fan and the pool supplies in his cart.  He may have also been pretending he didn't know us.  I was unloading my cart with the groceries in it.  Sam wanted one of most of the candies in the candy aisle, Nolan wanted to get out of the cart, and TJ was still beefing about the Legos.  I grumbled to Bill about this being the reason why I don't like to take the boys shopping.  He nodded in agreement and I bent down to grab a gallon of milk from the bottom of the cart.

At this point, I don't know exactly what happened.  I was crouched down, and the milk was less than a foot away from the ground.  But I somehow dropped it.  And the side split open.  And milk shot everywhere! TJ got doused, Sam got splashed, I had milk in my hair and all over my face.  I managed to tip the mangled gallon and actually salvaged about 2/3 of the milk.  Bill ran off to pick up a new gallon of milk (and to probably escape the chaos).  Our cashier handed me a couple rolls of paper towels so I could try to contain the lake of milk while she finished ringing up the freaked out customer in front of me.  Another cashier took the mangled gallon away in a big bag.  TJ was sobbing.  Sam was freaking out.  I was getting extremely dizzy from bending down and was trying to keep from blacking out completely.  I was starting to feel like I was in a bad sitcom.  At this point, TJ suddenly calmed himself down.  He said (VERY LOUDLY), "We can't blame Mom.  You know this isn't her fault.  She just hasn't been exercising."

Okay.  Bad situation has become worse. 

We made it home.  The kids are now in bed.  I will not be taking them back to Meijer any time soon.