Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Vacation Reflections, Chapter 3: Mr. Nolan, Captain Obvious

It's so hard not to laugh when you are having a conversation with Nolan.  He says and does some of the silliest (and sweetest) things.  And he's not even trying to be charming!

On Day 1, as we were leaving McDonald's in Wisconsin, Nolan was beside himself, he was so tired.  He was walking to the van and apparently, rather zoned out.  I was about five feet ahead of him and I opened the van door for him.  I turned just in time to see him walk smack into the side mirror of the car next to us.  He hit it so hard that I actually checked to make sure he hadn't damaged the car.  Understandably, he immediately burst into tears.  I scooped him up and tried to comfort him while I checked for injuries (another day, another bruise in the life of Nolan).  Nolan stopped sobbing long enough to say, "I wasn't looking where I was going!"

Yes.  I noticed.

Later in the week, Nolan decided to start working on his math skills.  He was talking to himself.  "One plus one equals eleven" was his wise observance.  I laughed.  I corrected him, but I also thought that in a way, he was right.  If you put two 1s next to each other, you do get eleven.

By the end of the week, Nolan was walking around the house saying "two plus two equals four, three plus three equals six".  That's my smart boy!

Nolan is just like his Daddy and his brothers in that he likes some white noise while he is sleeping.  All of the bedrooms had clock radios in them, so I located what I thought was a nice classical music station for him.  They were playing some piano music that sounded kind of like a hymn.  Nolan agreed that it was a good station, so I kissed him good night and left the room.  An hour later, I checked on him and almost started laughing out loud.  Nolan was sound asleep, sprawled out in the middle of his big bed.  The soft piano music was no longer playing.  In its place, was a religious person of some sort, yelling out a fire and brimstone sermon.  And Nolan slept right through it. 

On Friday night, the night before we came home, Bill and I were inside, packing things up.  Sam and Nolan were outside with their squirt bottles and were playing quite nicely.  I was upstairs emptying some dresser drawers when I heard Nolan crying and Bill speaking in a noticeably angry voice (yes, it does happen on rare occasion--he can get angry).  Nolan continued crying and I thought Bill sounded particularly ticked off, so I went downstairs to see what was going on.

At this point, I need to backtrack.  Let me remind you that we have 3 boys.  And we were in a remote part of the state.  More than once that week, the boys (usually Nolan) had a bathroom emergency when no bathrooms were in sight, so I would give them permission to use a bush.

Back to Friday night.  Apparently, while playing outside with Sam, Nolan realized he needed to have a bowel movement.  Rather than walk the ten feet to the front door, Nolan pulled down his pants and pooped.  In the side yard of the house.  Right in the landscaping.  In broad daylight.  Where people could see him.

Now I understood Bill's tone.  He wasn't really mad, he was mortified!  I had to get a plastic bag and have Sam show me where the item had been deposited.  Trust me, it's far worse than cleaning up after a dog.

After I dealt with that, I went to talk to our wayward son and to put his pajamas on him.  He was still recovering from his tears of shame.  He wrapped his arms around me and said, "I had to say I was sorry four..no five times!"  I laughed.  But he knows now to never, never poop in the yard.

One last funny thing.  The freezer in the rental house did not have an ice cube maker.  It was no big deal, as there were four ice cube trays in there.  But the boys have apparently never seen an ice cube tray before.  All three of them were fascinated with them.  Whenever I needed to get ice out, they'd all gather around to watch me crack the ice and pop the cubes out.  They acted like it was such a strange invention.  It made me feel really, really old.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

A brief hiatus

I will not be blogging about my vacation reflections tonight.  I still have some stories about Nolan to share, but those will have to wait for another night.  No, tonight I must share my lovely evening shopping experience.

We had dinner with Bill's mom.  On our way home, we all stopped at Meijer.  Normally, I shop solo, but since we were driving right by, it made sense for us to shop as a family.  In theory, it was supposed to be a quick shopping trip. I didn't need much, and Bill was going to take the older two boys to the far side of the store for some pool supplies we needed and to look at the Legos.  Nolan and I were going to zip through the grocery section and get the food we needed.

Everything was going just fine until the cereal aisle.  Nolan suddenly gave me that frantic look I have learned to hate.  Sure enough, he said, "Potty!"  I groaned.  I asked if he could wait a few minutes.  He thought this over seriously and said, "I can wait five seconds".  Oh dear.  Just then, Bill rounded the corner with his cart, Sam, and one angry 8-year-old who was in the midst of a tantrum.  I ignored Mr. Tantrum, handed Nolan off to Bill and said, "Go!  Find a bathroom!"  Sam decided he needed to go as well, so that left me with two carts...and TJ.  TJ was mad because Bill wouldn't loan him the money he needed to get some Lego thing.  Ugh.  I couldn't maneuver both carts by myself, so I had a hostile child pushing one.  I was quite worried he was going to run my foot over. 

Thankfully, Bill rejoined us fairly soon and helped us pick up the last few items we needed in produce (FYI- never let your husband select the cherries.  He bought almost 3 pounds.  I just about needed a loan to pay for his fruit!).  In the checkout lane, the kids started getting on my nerves in a MAJOR way.  Bill was standing behind us, with a box fan and the pool supplies in his cart.  He may have also been pretending he didn't know us.  I was unloading my cart with the groceries in it.  Sam wanted one of most of the candies in the candy aisle, Nolan wanted to get out of the cart, and TJ was still beefing about the Legos.  I grumbled to Bill about this being the reason why I don't like to take the boys shopping.  He nodded in agreement and I bent down to grab a gallon of milk from the bottom of the cart.

At this point, I don't know exactly what happened.  I was crouched down, and the milk was less than a foot away from the ground.  But I somehow dropped it.  And the side split open.  And milk shot everywhere! TJ got doused, Sam got splashed, I had milk in my hair and all over my face.  I managed to tip the mangled gallon and actually salvaged about 2/3 of the milk.  Bill ran off to pick up a new gallon of milk (and to probably escape the chaos).  Our cashier handed me a couple rolls of paper towels so I could try to contain the lake of milk while she finished ringing up the freaked out customer in front of me.  Another cashier took the mangled gallon away in a big bag.  TJ was sobbing.  Sam was freaking out.  I was getting extremely dizzy from bending down and was trying to keep from blacking out completely.  I was starting to feel like I was in a bad sitcom.  At this point, TJ suddenly calmed himself down.  He said (VERY LOUDLY), "We can't blame Mom.  You know this isn't her fault.  She just hasn't been exercising."

Okay.  Bad situation has become worse. 

We made it home.  The kids are now in bed.  I will not be taking them back to Meijer any time soon.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Vacation Reflections, Chapter 3: Oh, Sam...

Sam took his first trip to the Upper Peninsula very seriously.  He now will only refer to the Lower Peninsula as "The Mitten".  He asked a million questions.  Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating, but he asked at least a thousand (and no, I'm not kidding.  The kid can ask an endless stream of them in just five minutes.  He wears me out).

When we arrived at our rental home, Sam immediately had to go scope out the neighborhood to see who had sprinklers.  He was rather perturbed that we could not find ONE SINGLE HOUSE that had underground sprinkling.  The yards are very small and most people seem content to grow weeds instead of grass, so there's no point in watering.  We finally found one sprinkler running by the playground at the elementary school midway through the week.  Sam was quite relieved.

Sam loved the Manor House, and was in awe of the fact that such ordinary people own it.  He also thought it was neat that they lived in the big house next door to the Manor House, AND they own the Victorian Inn across the street, AND they own two vacation homes down the block (I think they are single-handedly restoring half the homes in Laurium).  Sam was so impressed by this couple, that he referred to them as The Mansions.  Their names are Dave and Julie Sprenger, but Sam didn't believe me.  He was convinced their last name was Mansion.

When we toured the Manor House and the Victorian Inn, Sam saw actual, functioning radiators.  After he discovered these in each room, I couldn't get him to look at anything else.  We'd go in a room, Bill and I would point out various features to Nolan and TJ, while Sam hunted down the radiator.  I think he'd like one for his own bedroom.

Sam's mind is usually not on the boring task at hand.  I'm afraid to ask where his mind is, but it's never focused on what it should be.  Case in point: We were about to head off on an adventure, so I sent Sam to the bathroom.  He took his shirt off instead.  When I asked him why his shirt was off, he got confused.  He had no recollection of taking it off.  He didn't even realize it was off until I pointed it out!  Sometimes, he reminds me sooo much of his father!

On Thursday of our vacation week, we went to Camelita's.  It's a tiny little restaurant on a side street in Calumet, but they have fabulous Mexican food.  Thankfully, they also have cheeseburgers for my weird boys.  The waitress brought Sam his own ketchup and mustard bottles.  The ketchup bottle was a glass Heinz bottle.  Sam was totally amazed by the cap that screwed ALL the way off!  He showed it to Bill like it was a new invention.  We got a big kick out of his reaction to the amazing ketchup bottle.

But Sam still continues to struggle at night.  He has terrible anxiety.  Right at this moment, it is 10:15 pm.  I am typing on our computer in the Florida Room.  He is asleep on the couch behind me.  He kept getting up, convinced he was going to be sick (he does this about five or six nights a week).  I finally told him to just sit quietly on the couch.  He relaxed and fell asleep.  Now I just need to transfer him to bed.

When we were up north, I really expected him to have a hard time at night.  We were in an unfamiliar house and he was sleeping in an unfamiliar bed.  The first couple nights were rough.  He was coming up with really crazy excuses to come check on me.  My favorite was, "Mom, this tooth is bent.  I needed to come show you."

But by the end of the week, he was going to bed right away and sleeping through the night.  Why he is struggling again now, I wish I knew.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Vacation Reflections, Chapter 2: You're not from around here

I realized after I finished my post the other night that I forgot to mention a few things about TJ.  He really is a homebody.  He was homesick even though he was traveling with his entire immediate family.  Every day, he spoke of how much he missed Katie and Willoughby, how much he missed our house, how much he missed his grandparents, etc.  The last day of our vacation, he got downright frustrated.  Just before we left for home, he snapped, "I don't see why everyone is talking about how great the Keweenaw is!  I like West Michigan better!"

Now, on to today's post:

When we arrived in Wisconsin on the Badger, it was later than we anticipated (the wind had been working against us the entire way).  It was about 2:00 before we found a McDonald's and got the boys some lunch.  All 3 of them had Happy Meals (although TJ gets the bigger kids meal now) and drank Sprite with it.  Now, may I remind you that we live in Michigan.  We don't drink soda.  We drink POP!  Bill and I finished our meals and I was encouraging the boys to finish up.  They were tired, cranky, and starting to bicker with each other.  We were a bit crowded in our booth, so since I was finished, I was standing at the end of the booth while I started to clean up.  At the next booth over were three guys in their mid to late twenties.  I wasn't paying much attention to them and I didn't think they were paying much attention to us.  One of my kids asked if they could bring their drink back to the van.  I said, "No.  No pop in the car.  Finish it up here."  I noticed the guys start to snicker and one of them said, "Heh heh!  She said 'pop'!"

So, I did what any self-respecting woman in their mid-thirties does.  I gave them my professional Knock-It-Off-Because-I'm-A-Mom look.  They grinned right back.  Turns out they were quite friendly.  One of them observed that we weren't from 'around here'.  I confirmed that and said that in Michigan, we drink pop.  They chuckled again.  One of the guys then asked me if we use the term 'water fountain' or 'bubbly fountain'.  I told him neither one, they are 'drinking fountains'.  He nodded thoughtfully and said that was better than a bubbly fountain.  We then spent a few moments laughing at a few Minnesota and Yooper terms.  Finally my boys were done and we were on our way.

I kept thinking about that term 'bubbly fountain'.  I've never heard that before.  I'm trying to picture a six-foot, 250 pound guy asking where the nearest 'bubbly fountain' is.  I don't know if I could take that seriously!

Monday, June 18, 2012

Vaction Reflections. Chapter 1: TJ, Mr. Sentimental

We were up in Laurium, Michigan (way up in the Keweenau Peninsula) all of last week.  We rented an old house (4 bedrooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms, built in 1895), and we spent a week away from our hectic lives.

I will be honest, the boys tried our patience more than once.  We had quite a bit of bickering and little fights going on.  One day, I called my mom and let her scold the boys for me.  It helped!  But overall, we had no major problems, everyone was healthy, and I treasured our time together.

I kept a running list all week of the things the boys did that amused me.  Tonight, I'll start off with TJ.

Think back to TJ as a toddler, and then as a preschooler.  You probably don't remember him holding still much, do you?  Well, that hasn't changed.  At all.  We took the Badger car ferry across Lake Michigan and went up to Laurium through Wisconsin.  The boat ride was a little over 4 hours long.  I think TJ sat still for about 10 minutes of the trip.  No, I am not exaggerating.  After awhile, Bill and I got tired of walking with him, so we let him go off on his own.  He just had to keep checking in with us.  I knew he couldn't get lost, and I figured it was fairly unlikely he would fall off the boat, so I just let him go.

But after the hustle of the boat, TJ slowed down.  The little boy who would NEVER hold my hand for ANY reason and highly resented it if I insisted, reached out and took my hand several times.  We went for a walk around the neighborhood in Laurium one evening and TJ held my hand for quite a bit.  As we finished our walk he said, "This was nice.  We never do this at home."

Later, all five of us were sitting on an ancient, hideous, green couch in the parlor of the rental house (the couch was as uncomfortable as it was ugly) and we were watching Mythbusters.  TJ was sitting next to me.  He sighed, wrapped his arms around me and said, "This is the first time we have ever all watched a TV show together."

Now, that was probably a slight exaggeration, but he had a point.  I know our lives are busy, but I will try harder to make more time for the boys.

One thing TJ and I did last week was put together a large puzzle.  1000 pieces.  It was his idea to work on the puzzle.  In fact, he made me bring 3 that size.  I worked rapidly for 5 days, and only got the one completed.  I did probably 95% of it, TJ did 4%, and Sam and Nolan did the remaining 1% (when Nolan actually got two pieces to fit together, he was completely shocked).  Friday afternoon, I finally finished the puzzle.  But I was a bit perturbed to see one piece was missing.  I searched all around the dining room and couldn't find it.  TJ comes in from the living room, sees what I am doing, goes back in the living room and comes back with the missing piece.  He snaps it in place and gives me a naughty grin.  He said, "There!  I wanted to be the one to finish the puzzle!"  #$%#$%#$%#$%#%  He's lucky I love him!

The Village of Laurium has a strict curfew of 10 p.m.  No kids are to be outside after that time.  They blow the civil defense siren once at 10:00, just so everyone is aware that it's time to head in.  Bill was out walking one night when the siren blew and he said shortly afterward, the lone Laurium policeman started going up and down the streets to make sure no children were still outside.  Bill and I loved this concept, and also found it a bit amusing.  The boys were always asleep by 10:00, so we had to fill them in on what went on in the evenings.

One morning, TJ couldn't find his water bottle.  I reminded him that it was out in the van and I told him to go get it.  "I can't!" he yelled back.  I asked him why not.  "Because it's 10:15!  You said no kids could be outside after 10:00!"

He was serious.  But I laughed.  We had a discussion on 10 p.m. versus 10 a.m. and then he went outside to retrieve his water bottle.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Strange Punishment

Sam and Nolan were naughty yesterday at my mom's house.  For some bizarre reason, they started throwing clumps of dirt.  Everywhere.  All over the driveway, at the house, at my dad's car...let's just say my mom was a tiny bit tense when she came outside and discovered the mess.

So they are being punished, both at her house and at ours.  The punishment?  No sprinklers.  Yes, they are not allowed to touch the sprinklers for the rest of the week.  We are still watering our lawn, but the boys are not allowed to change the zones or touch any sprinklers.

Most kids would think this was the dumbest punishment ever.  My boys, especially Sam, are in agony.  Nolan is also upset because in addition to the sprinkler ban, he's not allowed to play in the water table.  Could life BE any worse?

Willoughby's Got Talent

Everyone knows you can train a dog to do tricks, but most people never bother trying to teach a cat tricks.  But they are definitely trainable!  I taught Willoughby to sit.  He will come and sit on command in order to get a cat treat or some of his wet cat food.  In fact, if he thinks someone forgot to give him a treat, he will come and 'sit pretty' until he is noticed and properly rewarded.  It's insanely cute.

Bill keeps trying to tell Willoughby that tricks are beneath him.  That only dumb dogs do tricks.  But so far, Willoughby is ignoring Bill's advice.  Katie, however, seems to agree with Bill.  I am certain I have seen her roll her eyes when Willoughby does his trick. 



Saturday, June 2, 2012

That's backwards!

Yesterday was a bad day for me.  Most of you know I have neurocardiogenic syncope, which is a fancy way of saying I get dizzy and black out.  Often.  I feel okay most days, but I have a few bad days a month.  Yesterday was one of those.  I went to bed at 3:00 and basically stayed there the rest of the day.  I managed to get up and fold several loads of laundry, but I was so dizzy I had to keep taking breaks. 

At one point, my cell phone rang.  I picked it up and saw Charlotte's cute little face, which meant Amanda was calling (I love that feature on the iPhone!).  I answered and Amanda said the one thing I never expected her to say, "Hey.  I have a baking question for you."  She said that and we both started laughing. 

Turns out that she didn't have a question related to a baking technique or a recipe (which is good for everyone involved, because I am hopeless when it comes to baking!!).  She wanted to make sure she was using the correct size pan for a dessert she knew that Bill and I had made recently (he made it, I helped eat it).

After I finished talking to her, I had to go find Bill.  We both laughed over the thought of someone wanting baking advice from me.  The laughing made me dizzy, but I still felt a little better.