Death

Last week, a note from the principal was sent home in both of my boys' backpacks. It was sad news. A first-grader had passed away the weekend before. The note was carefully worded, but I had the impression it was not an unexpected death. That seemed so sad to me. I can't imagine watching one's child suffer through an illness.

TJ and I discussed the note. He had not known the student that died, and neither had Sam. TJ is my optimist and said, "Well, his mom and dad are sad, but they can have another baby."

I looked at him and said, "TJ, there is only one TJ. And I love you with all of my heart. If you died, I would always be sad. I would never stop missing you. If I had another baby, of course I would love that child. But I would always miss you and wish that you were still here with me. No baby could ever take your place. Kids should never die before their moms and dads do."

TJ listened carefully to me. You could see the understanding and compassion crossing his face. Thankfully, he has never had to say good-bye to a close relative before, but I could tell he understood. And I could tell he felt much more sympathy for the little boy's parents.

It's discussions like that where I can clearly see that he is growing up.